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05/24/12

Mum sadly passed away on Sunday July 16th 2006. The service and thanksgiving was held at Breakspear Crematorium on Friday July 28th 2006 and we said goodbye, till we meet again, on Friday October 13th 2006.

We said goodbye on her Birthday, a week before Nanny's Birthday - Mum's, Mum. They now rest together in Ruislip. These are the words that were read at her funeral:

 Our families would like to thank all of you for coming here today to celebrate Mums life. Some of you have travelled along way to be here, some have taken time out of work, some have done both and that shows the fondness you felt for Mum in your hearts and for that we thank you. Some of the pieces in this are from Adrienne and some are from me, some from Andrew. You may figure out which are which. 

 Mum was born in to a big extended family with many cousins, Wendy, Gaynor, Gail, Graham, Paul, Sean, Adrienne and Ray, many of whom are here today. In her late teenage age years Mum and Ray they were quite a force to be reckoned with on the dance floor and would go dancing most weekends. They both loved Elvis and the Everley brothers and would practice jiving on a Sunday afternoon at home.

 Mum was a very bright and intelligent girl who did well at school and after having a successful secretarial career, became a full time housewife and mother to her 2 sons, me and Andrew (and what a good job she did!!!) She adored us and was very proud of both of us and what we have achieved.

 She later returned to work holding down a successful career as a PA in a local building firm whilst still being a great mum. She was the 1^st to admit she did not like cooking but there was always dinner on the table. You knew it was Monday when sausage beans and chips arrived.

 In her spare time she loved to sit down and do crosswords. None were a challenge to her. Times, Telegraph, Mail, you name it she completed it. She also liked to watch my feathered friends in her garden and also became the ‘guardian’ for many many foxes (which she fed quite willingly……remember what I said a while ago about her dislike for cooking)

 Mum was a small person with a big heart. She never wanted for anything except to know that everyone was ok and there were no problems. She used to ring on a Sunday evening (except when she was staying with us…pointless really) to see how we all were and what we had been doing. She took particular pride in her Grandchildren, Kate, Daniel, Harry and Jack and the way they were growing up.

 She loved people having fun, be it cars (especially loved Big Red, one of Andrews pride and joys), parties, outings, holidays. Her idea of having fun was watching people have fun. Watching Dad and Andrew compete in a powerboat race made her proud, watching someone (who’s here but shall remain nameless) hoover the grass (yes hoover with a proper vacuum) made her smile. Parties at home and away, like the Queens Silver jubilee party for my street spring to mind - she took a great deal of time organising and hosting and above all, really enjoying.

 From birthday parties when Andrew and I were children to food fights in the dining room when it seemed Andrew and I were the most grown up in the room amongst mum, Dad and friends, life was never dull growing up. Even a few short while ago, Mum sat through most of the World Cup knowing that we were enjoying watching the games even if it was Holland v Argentina. At my house, Caroline’s house, Andrew’s house, it didn’t matter. Mum just enjoyed being around people that she loved, watching us, the grandchildren, everyone around, as much as she watched the games.

 Mum wasn’t a physically strong person and, like probably most if not all the people in this room, she had her faults but that didn’t make her a bad person. Times had not always been good. From the ‘fun times’ (and the now famous grass hovering party) to the sad times of losing Nanny - that was Mum’s mum, which deeply saddened all of us, but especially Mum – family upset and dealing with the challenges it seems only Mum’s have to face when bringing up 3 children (that was me, Andrew and Dad - J), she found it as tough as many of us will find it in the coming weeks and months without her beside us.

 On her 60^th Birthday, a time of joy for many people celebrating the fact that they had not only lived through their twenties and thirties but had gone far beyond, Mum was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. Again this was another challenging time, but she went through the radio and chemotherapy with amazing courage and determination, never complaining and telling us all that she was ‘Fine’. Her consultant in Poole hospital, Dr Lawrence, and her nurse specialist, Lynne Cherrit, often remarked how Mum’s positive approach and resolute mind to go forward and not look back helped her cope and check her illness.

 Her illness sometimes seemed to be improving, sometimes not…. but throughout it all whenever you asked her how she was she continued with ‘I’m ok’. “How are your aches and pains Mum?”….‘not too bad’ was always the reply. Again she never wanted to worry anyone.

 Despite her illness and her visits to various hospitals to worry us (and we sometimes did think, simply to check them out and compare) Mum became happier at being around those she loved and those that loved her. With the help of new support and nurses from the McMillan teams in Northwood with Me and Maggie, and in Weybridge with Andrew, Mum seemed to be gaining mental strength and hope for the future and loads more time with us all. It wasn’t to be.

 Her passing was very peaceful and as far as we could tell without the pain that had dogged her for the past years. She no longer has to suffer and follow the relentless drug taking to ease her troubles and we can take some comfort in that. Mum’s time in the past months has been surrounded by those who loved her, by those she loved, we are grateful for that. Possibly her greatest gift was that she always had time for you, whoever you were, and always had time to give it.  Many, many people will miss her

 Mum was not a religious person but she did believe that there was a reason for all of this and she did know in her heart that there is a place for all of us. Andrew and I and I know most of us here today, believe this too. Mum’s place is now there and she is finally at peace. With Nanny, with Grandma, with Gerry with all those that she has loved that have gone before, she is there.  Mum, we miss you…so, so much.

 As Kate has said, we want to celebrate – as much as we can – Mum’s life and thank God for giving her to us. So let’s do that and think and reminisce some of the good times. Andrew and myself would like to invite you all to a small reception at the Tudor Lodge Hotel in Eastcote so that we can celebrate Mum’s life and recall maybe a few more memories. There won’t be any food fights and Jeff won’t be hoovering the lawn, but it would be wonderful if you would join us.

 The last bit of this service is a song. Its not one you have to sing along to. Its one you just have to listen to. It’s by Freddie Mercury and Queen, a group she went to see on their last but one gig ever in the UK at Wembley Stadium, May 1986. Again another great day out which we all enjoyed. This song isn’t from that era though. It’s a song that we have all listened too before I am sure, but the words speak volumes and we think it fits Mum’s life to a tee.

 Thank you for coming, thank you for thinking and thank you for making Mum’s life so rich.

 And finally, thank you Mum, for being our Mum. We will love you….Always….